April 20, 2014
Day 71: Super Saturdays

On Friday night, I decided against going out with friends, and opted to stay in and just drink with friends. It was a great decision because I had a lot of fun pounding shots, but one of the best parts was just being able to sleeping and waking earlier.

So my Saturday. Woke up around 9am. Did some kettlebells. It feels really great to develop a pattern. Well afterwards, I sat around, browsing the web. I thought why delay, and got my ass into the gym. I weight lifted for the first time in a while, and I gotta say it was wonderful. I’m pretty sore today.

I could go on about all the places I went to, but I want to talk about something I’ve been considering. I am thinking about adopting a dog. My friend Alex has a pitbull mix that is looking for a home. I never owned a dog before, and this little guy might be my first.

Some things that I think about is whether I can provide the dog the quality of care that I would think it deserves. If I was to become a dog owner, I would only want to be a good one. Well-behaved dogs are something that always impresses me.

Its a whole lot of responsibility and its going to be a whole lot of dog. I do want to become a dog owner one day, but I’m not sure if this is the one for me. The timing seems right though, so I’m still undecided.

April 19, 2014
Day 70: Hacked

Because this is what happens when you miss a day; you get hacked.

Anna was here. I don’t really have anything cleaver to say, except that I am glad that I met you over some porkchops.

April 18, 2014
Day 69: An eventful day

So today, I took the day off to run errands. Anna also had the day off today. Started off a tad slower, woke up a little later, did kettlebells a bit longer, cooked a delicious breakfast. I made poached eggs for the first time. Ate that with bacon, avocados, and cooked romaine lettuce.

Then once I left the door, it was just running from one place to the next. I love it. In the evening, we went to an art show that my friend, Mel, was presenting at. She’s an incredible talent creating some of the coolest paintings I’ve seen. I asked another friend, Stella, who I haven’t seen in a while, to join me. Stella and I knew each other for over ten years now, but we were never really close. We grew closer partying together in recent years. She’s a person who’s thoughts I really appreciate. It was her first time meeting Anna too! Funny thing, Anna thought Stella was older than her because we are friends (they are the same age). Age through association.

We went back and had mediocre Spanish food, then went to Rob’s place. We went to there to “plan” our Oregon trip. New addition to our itinerary: We’re going to get shitfaced the first night and explore the city the following day.

Down.

April 16, 2014
Day 68: Wish

Do you believe that wishing or hoping for something brings it closer to it happening? Law of attraction type stuff? It makes sense to me. To think about something, you are more likely to do it. You are more likely to have imagined how it would look like.

I hope its true. Recently, I’ve been spending a lot of time brainstorming about a business venture that I would like to begin. The most unnerving aspect of it to me, is the lack of action. I would like to begin it as soon as possible. One of my partners doesn’t share the urgency that I have.

I believe some people have the “eye.” It is a gift of correctly identify situations, based off the senses. Assessing the situation accurately allows the individual to see the options available. This, in turn, allows greater probability of making the right choice.

This is gift I believe I have. I say this because I see my business venture as a ship. This ship is going somewhere I want to go, and its going to sail soon. It is up to me to get myself on that boat before it sails.

Some situations, its fine if you take your time, it might even be advisable. You can be solid, and let the world work its way around you. Other situations, time is a factor. You must work your way around it before impact, or break upon it.

I believe that wishing helps, but only so that you may think of the ways in which your wish can become possible. Wishing for the results, without consideration for the journey is a fool’s dream.

April 16, 2014
Day 67: Catching up

One of my friends returned. I rarely get to see him, and today I got to hang out with him.

Today is a good day. We got to talk a lot and we discuss our plans for our future. Going into the meeting, I expected a lot of tension because of some choice words exchanged prior to meet-up. It never even got close to it.

Sometimes, for me at least, what we imagine might happen is far worse than what actually occurs. Its one of those things that until you do it, you won’t know how easy it actually is. There’s also the opposite that occurs, when things are way harder than it appears.

My takeaway is I’ll never know unless I do.

April 14, 2014
Day 66: Instincts

I made my friend believe that something I was mistaken about, was true. Later on, when I realized I was wrong, I corrected myself. He said that I inceptioned him into believing that, but in his gut he thought what he thought initially was right.

You see, at first he believed something, then I said its not true. He believed me when I was wrong, and disregarded his own intuition. The funny thing is, this is the friend that said to me recently, to a great degree of effect, “Trust your own instincts.”

We laughed about the irony, and he joked that it’s because I had pretty good instincts too, that’s why he listened.

Got me thinking about it. How can instincts, or decision-making be quantified? What sets apart a person with good instincts apart from a person with bad instincts. I’d like to believe that I have good instincts, and I’ve even made claims that I feel the flow of the universe, but objectively speaking, would I get the same response from others?

If others were to answer if I was a good decider, what would be the results? I think thats another thing, considering what others think about me. I think its necessary, because its feedback on how I’m performing.

Just because I’m not seen as a good decider now, doesn’t mean I can’t be one in the future. I just have to be open and receptive to feedback coming in, good or bad.

April 13, 2014
Day 65: No

Im going to learn to say this more.

April 12, 2014
Day 64: Nice Day

The weather was beautiful today. Sunny, clear skies, breezy. High in the 70s, quite a welcome sign of spring. I got to hang out with friends and still do errands today, too. The timing of everything just worked out great too.

In the evening, I went to NJ to my dad’s place. I plan to move some more things into my place in the city. Tomorrow’s supposed to be another gorgeous day. :)

April 12, 2014
Day 63: Resist

Today, I went to a friend’s birthday party. The only problem was that I couldn’t drink if I wanted to stay on my low-carb calibration period. It took a lot of self-control not to drink at all. It feels weird to me, when everyone else is drinking and I am sober.

I really enjoy a good buzz.

April 11, 2014
Day 62: Holes

I had something to write about. But I fell into a hole. And it took some time to come back. Now is pass the time for stories. I’m just happy that found my way to make this post.

April 10, 2014
Facing Death

perpetualponderer:

image

Two weeks ago, my family and I began the discussion of what my mom would like for her funeral service. We asked her questions like what she would like to do with her body, embalm or cremate, and whether she would like a Christian service or a more traditional Chinese ceremony. We asked her…

Not selfish. Just foolish. Make the moments count.

April 10, 2014
Day 61: Scared

So I’ll be honest. I’m pretty worried at the moment. Theres just a lot on my plate, and I don’t know if it will work out the way I want it to. For one, I’m invested heavily into a three stocks, about $30k. My cash flow has been severely restricted because of my investments, and I have no idea when I can be liquid again. 

I also have my driver license suspended due to failure to appear for a court date. It completely slipped my mind. Its also tax season, and I hate it. I have little knowledge about personal finances.

I think feeling worried is a very human reaction, but its not very forwarding. I think we evolved this feeling of worry so that we may focus attention on something and think more deeply about it. In the end, things that are going to happen, are going to happen. Just do.

April 9, 2014
Day 60: Midnight

I went to sleep early last night, a woke up early enough to eat breakfast and work out. I like waking up early, I feel like I get more done.

Its midnight now, later than I should be up if I want to wake up early. So I’m going to call it night. I think I spent excessively recently too.

I’m going to sleep.

April 7, 2014
Day 59: Goal setting

Anna shared something with me recently, and she was very hesitant to share it when she did. Mostly, it was so I wouldn’t be offended. She said that even though I have goals, I don’t really set a time schedule for myself.

Its very true. Even with my 100 day blogging journey, I never really stated a “how many by when.”

Here are some now:

1. Gain at least one prospective client at work by the end of 100 days.

2. Reach 160 lbs or lower by the end of 100 days.

3. Refill bank account with at least $6000 by the end of 100 days.

Wow. Its kind of scary. They are all obtainable goals, but they will require a lot of effort. If following the adage, “if your goals don’t scare you, make new ones,” I made some very worthwhile goals then.

April 6, 2014
Day 58: Learning to Love

So its official now, Sundays are family dinner days. I actually really like that. After my mother died, my siblings and I made an effort to see our father more. We went home almost every Friday for dinner together, and we would leave the next day. This got tiring because my dad lived about an hour drive away, and coordinating that travel with five different schedules got… conflicting.

My grandmother had a stroke some time this past November, and I think after the death of my mother, we are all aware of the brevity of life. After she came back home from the hospital, we started the Sunday dinners. We all try to spend time with her, and in doing so, we get to spend time with each other.

This made me think. There’s times, for me at least, that being with family becomes a source of negativity or anger. The difference now is that I willingly put myself in that situation rather than try to avoid it. I really do enjoy my time with family so much more now, that I go there with the intention of being there.

My youngest sister is a teenager, and she seems to be on that phase. She doesn’t like spending time with family, and her actions and demeanor reflect that. I was like that too when I was younger. Thinking back, I’m not sure if there was anything that could have been said to have me want to spend more time with family.

I so desperately want to have my youngest sister involved in all family activities. When my mom passed away, I felt like she kept the whole situation at arms length. She was more confused by it than anything. It is as if disconnecting herself has become her defense against being hurt. In the end, I just want her to remember us as people that will always love and support her, but I don’t think we resemble that for her. Everyone out there, do you have any advice?

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