Daruma and the Lesson of Resilience
Daruma is the Japanese translation for the Buddhist monk, Bodhidharma. He is credited with bringing Zen Buddhism to all of East Asia, the dominant form of Buddhism in the region. Zen Buddhist believe that meditation is the key to enlightenment, as oppose to studying sutras or practicing rituals. Basically, thinking about it was all that was necessary. Its beautiful in its simplicity.
Legend has it that he sat for nine years, meditating. His limbs eventually atrophied away, hence the Japanese Daruma dolls and their round shape:
Now these dolls when made, are weighed down on the bottom so that when it is knocked over, it rolls itself back up. Often it is written with the Japanese phrase, Nanakorobi Yaoki, translated as “fall down seven times, get up eight times.”
I like this guy so much.
Initially, I had a very different idea of what my first post would be. That of emotional maturity. What it means to be emotionally mature, and how a emotionally mature person acts. I loaded up tumblr, all ready to go with my outline that I made during class, but for one reason or another, I decided to write about Mr.Bodhidharma.
Its all one and the same, really. The Daruma doll elegantly describes what emotional maturity is all about, to me. We all feel pain and sadness. Those that don’t, are obviously very out of touch with themselves, but those that are consumed by it are no better. It isn’t good because in these emotional states, people act and respond inappropriately, and often, detrimentally.
It is not healthy to wallow in or deny our feelings. And sometimes, these feelings HURT. The pain of lost, the pain of betrayal, we all fall at one time or another. But this is where emotional maturity kicks in. Will we be able to recover? Can we return to normalcy? The more emotionally mature we are, the quicker we will be able to recover.
I like to use the zombie apocalypse to prove many of my points, and this shall be another. Now lets say the zombie apocalypse has struck. All that you have known are suddenly and violently eradicated. Your family, your friends, even Muffy, are dead OR probably dead. You’re worse off than Will Smith in I Am Legend…. at least that guy had his dog… How would you react? There are really just two choices: 1) recognize what has happened, get moving and try to survive, or 2) fucking cry your brains out so that there will be no brains left for the zombies to eat when they find you.
Grief is real, betrayal is real, rejection is real. All these things can go to work on your psychology. I believe it is healthy to feel emotions. After all, you need to rain to appreciate the sun. But feel them, and let it pass. Get back up. Life is going to continue, like it or not.
Recently, I had a discussion with my girlfriend about something that eventually led to this topic. She has an admirer, a fact that did not escape my notice. She asked me if I was jealous.
I said no.
Really?
Really, no.
In retrospect, it was probably the opposite of what she wanted to hear. Girls love it when your heart shatters for them. But what I mean by that is that I cannot deny reality. He likes her. I can go apeshit or I can just do what I do and continue to love my girlfriend. How much will I let reality deny me of my happiness? I believe in karma, and that’s all I really need as justice in life. Maybe some people will think I am too passive, but what I think I am, is at peace.
How do you define emotional maturity?
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reytrajano liked this
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nocturnalparoxysm answered:
i don’t know… i don’t have it.
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weepingcolors answered:
1. your post was composed when you were emotional.
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perpetualponderer posted this
