Expedition of the Soul
This is the part where standing becomes an exercise in mental discipline.
Separating what is good for you, good for you right now, and good
Giving up, giving in, giving out
First you stand, then you walk, then you run
Every moment I feel remorse, every moment that I feel sadness is a moment I have wasted not feeling happy
What do I have to express? I say I have to so much to say and here it is. The forum for all my thoughts, and yet nothing comes
I want to tell my mother that I love her and that I don’t say it enough but all the pain and regret what good is it for. A lesson in mental discipline a lesson in my mind.
I wanna reach out and touch the world but how can I do that without it recoiling it fear?
Its all in my head, and what a endless universe it is. A prisoner in this infinite abyss
I want to learn, I want to conquer this
What is the source of my sorrow?
- abandonment
- betrayal
- incompetence
- inadequacy
- past misdeeds
- guilt
- frustration
What is it that holds me back? All these things. It has only served to make me weaker. All the things that money has bought me. The sofa, the blanket, ice cream. They are just colorful painted jars of poison. Everything around me is trying to kill me. The only way I can survive is to strengthen my mind. Immune to all the pain. The only variable that you can control is your mind. How you feel and how you act. Those are the only things that you can control.
So lay with the vipers, eat the poison, so that you will know the pain and the sorrow it brings. Learn to hate it, then learn to conquer it. Do not ever let the body, the mind, go soft. Because once you do they win. Never feel comfortable, never feel safe. That is the only way to survive.
Live each moment deliberately.
24 hours in a day, 24 hours used to strengthen myself
Every second of pain endured is a second I have gained for the future.
We: my mind and my body.
We can do it. We can win. No chocolate, no smoking, no luxury. Only pain for here on in.
How can we learn?
First you listen, then you do, then you listen again.
What is it called when you want it, but it doesn’t want you?
