Letting Out & Letting Go
Coincidences can only count for so much. Sometimes, there’s no other way to describe it other than fate. Then again, that might just be the glorification of our own life. That’s an existential quarry I am not prepared to enter; Is fate glorified coincidence?
Alex messaged me last week, and asked me to discuss the topic of acceptance and letting go, particularly about relationships. What timing. Here I am, locked in my prison of remorse and regret, my surroundings stabbing me with memories that are long gone, and to have another think that I can possibly offer insight into this… is astounding. As a man, I have lost confidence in myself, conviction in my life, and clarity in my goals.
Coincidence?
My initial response was to just send a message back telling him that I don’t have anything substantial to offer on the topic. But what surprised me the most was the timing. Alex doesn’t, at least I think he doesn’t, know that I have had recently gotten out of a relationship. So I left it alone.
Last night, my mom and I sat down after dinner and talked. She knew that something was bothering me. I know I’ve been disengaged and rather aloof. We talked about many topics from my motivation issues, to relationships, to the definition of happiness. She said two very things that really stuck out for me.
1 - “You have to talk about it. Once you talk about it, you will know the way out. Keeping it trapped inside you, it will only ruminate in your mind. That is unproductive thinking.”
There’s a line in the HBO show, The Wire, that I really liked that says the same thing, “You have to let it out, to let it go.” Bubbles, a drug addict tormented by guilt for being an accessory to the death of his friend, would not talk about it. His sponsor, urged him to talk about it with that line.
I can see that. Just imagine emotional pain as an object. When you never speak about the pain, you keep it trapped in your body and hold onto the pain. But when you speak about it, the pain flows out through your words and leaves your body.
2 - “Tasks are accomplished one step at a time. You can dream and you can plan, but all you can do, is only do what you can right now.”
This line hit me because I have become such an unmotivated sap that all I have been doing is thinking, grieving, and feeling sorry for myself. She said that when I talk about things, it all makes sense, and sounds great, but when she looks at what I’ve done, it doesn’t reflect any of the things I’ve said. She applied this further to how I should deal with the breakup: one step at a time. First I have to talk about it, then I have to do something about it, and the best thing to do, is do ANYTHING. I think what she meant by that is to apply yourself. Do something that will affect reality, something real and noteworthy. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t mean go out and pick up some new drug habits or have some meaningless sex.
Now, in all honesty, these lines are pretty commonplace. Cliche little quotes off of brainyquote.com. But most times, these lines don’t mean anything until someone says them to you. So this is for you, Alex, I hope you are able to gain some insight in yourself and your situation from this. Me, I talked about it, and I will start out small and start going to the gym again.
Listen to the song I posted. Sometimes, people just want different things.
